If you’ve ever had to learn a foreign language,
you know how confusing it can be. It can take
months or even years to become fluent! The
foreign language that all womankind seem to
speak is no different. After all, men are from
Mars and women are from Venus, right?
Women have a tendency to say one thing and
mean something completely different. And
men, you tend to see things how they are. No
gender is in the wrong here; it’s just the way it
Read: 20 things you should be doing for your
wife every day
Well, no matter how many languages you
know, being fluent in Womanese has never
been done. At least, not by men. But fear not
because here is a tiny glimpse into the things
your lady is saying and what she actually
“It’s your decision.”
It’s your decision and responsibility to choose
what I want.
“Nothing is wrong.”
Something is most definitely wrong.
“You are the best husband ever!”
I just ordered a ton of stuff from Amazon.
“Do you know how much I love you?”
I just bought Target.
“Are you wearing that to dinner?”
Go change. Now.
“What’s mine is yours.”
What’s mine is mine.
“What’s yours is mine.”
(Actually, this is spot on.)
“Did you hear that?”
I noticed you just fell asleep.
“Be honest with me. I promise I won’t get
I have no intention of getting mad. I also have
no control over my emotions, so don’t make me
“I’m just feeling a little frazzled.”
You better bring home dinner, then take all
the kids away until their bedtime, which you
are also in charge of.
“I could eat anywhere.”
You better choose my favorite restaurant
which changes almost daily. Do not fail.
Read: 5 ways you are unknowingly destroying
your wife and killing your marriage
“Who is that text from?”
Please hand over your phone so I can read
every text, email, Facebook status, tweet and
social media post that has ever been sent to or
“I got it.”
Get over here and finish this chore I asked you
to do 10 times already.
“Is there a game on?”
I’m going to go get a mani/pedi.
“Sure! You can leave for the entire weekend
to go hunting with your buddies!”
Next weekend I’m going to the spa with my
It’s true, women can be very hard to read, so
hopefully this will help you men out. Think of
this as a cheat sheet to understanding women.
And, ladies, maybe your man needs a little
help. Share this with your boyfriend, husband,
dad, brother, uncle, friend, crush or ex.
And, guys, if all else fails, just smile and give
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